Staying Upright in the Storm: Reflections on Loneliness, Strength, and Quiet Wisdom
- mariamcdonald111
- May 3
- 3 min read
I’ve often thought about how little we talk about the loneliness of leadership — especially when life quietly falls apart behind the scenes. Because when you’re the one people look to for decisions, calm, or guidance, it’s rare to say, “I’m not okay.” Heck we won't even entertain that possibility to ourselves.
When the proverbial hits the fan - betrayal, illness, grief, redundancy, or personal crisis, you can feel like you’re straddling two worlds: The public face — composed, responsible, still moving. And the private self — raw, aching, and quietly unraveling. And we don't always have a good kit of coping mechanisms. I you don't have tools in your kit you don't need right?
What No One Sees
In those times, you can be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone. Sometimes our family or friends don't know how to help, or they can be part of what is falling apart. Sometimes we know that by opening up we will crack open, and we are not sure we can put ourselves back together again and function. I know this not just as a coach, but from my own lived experience. When I stood in my own storms — it wasn’t the big inspirational moments that carried me through. It wasn't the two-year leadership programme or leadership coaching or any leader mentor relationships I had. I was - at all costs - preserving my professional persona as much as I could. I did not feel safe to share for fear that I would be seen as a weak link. What did help me was the discrete support, mostly online, through self-development and holistic coaching. I knew the theory, but to be guided with care and compassion, and a sense of perspective that I didn't have, and with no judgment and connection to my career was invaluable. I have such gratitude to those people and will do all I can to be that for others.
I learnt things like:
You only need to hold what matters most right now.
Let go of the things you can’t control today.
It's okay to soften, to bend, to grieve, to break — that’s part of staying upright, too.
How to do small things of joy and bliss and care for myself.
I'm in control of my story and I can use my voice and personal power.
The Quiet Power of Coaching Wisdom
What surprised me most was how those coaching tools — the same ones I’d offered to others — became my lifeline when my own ground shook. They took on so much more meaning and helped me carve a new mindset when the old one shattered. They gave me strength not because they erased the pain, but because they helped me walk with it, shape it, and eventually grow beyond it. In those moments, I realized: Resilience is not about toughness. It's not about being wonder woman and fending off everything coming at you - and boy it feels like it's coming at you. But we can't put our head in the sand and avoid it. It’s about honest mapping, careful tending, steady recalibration — and, ultimately, rebuilding a life and leadership identity that is more aligned, more richly dimensional, and more authentically me. A better me.
Why I Share This
I share this not just as a reflection, but as an offering. If you are in a storm right now — or know someone who is — I want you to hear this: You don’t have to do it alone. There are ways to move forward that honor your pain and your power. There are tools, conversations, and quiet wisdom that can help you stay upright, even when you feel like you’re barely holding on.
This is the heart of why I created Staying Upright in the Storm — to walk alongside leaders who need both a safe and confidential space as they navigate their hardest seasons. There is not much that I haven't experienced or seen.
If You’re Ready
If this resonates with you — if you feel that pull of loneliness, exhaustion, or quiet unraveling — I invite you to reach out. You don’t have to weather this alone. And you don’t have to figure it all out today. Message me for a free, confidential conversation. Let’s explore how you can stand upright, not just for yourself, but for the people you’re here to lead, love, and lift.
Maria
006421448813